NOCTOURNAL RAMBLINGS

I Realized i am being besieged by the nether world with many many MANY many messages of temperance.
Most of them QUITE conflicting... for example:
reminding me that I am a superior person in several ways... (though I am WELL aware of many many MANY many shortcomings)
also reminding me that when others (namely one other) acted superior to me it made me MISERABLE.
what i take from this is a reminder to evoke temperance.
BUT BOY HOWDY the messages are chewy and tiring.

Rah has crossed

My Rah Kitty, best friend EVAR, and familiar of the past ten years, this evening crossed the rainbow bridge just before 7:pm. 

He passed peacefully in his mommies arms at home, with the assistance of a very compassionate house call Veterinarian.

He might have made it through a few more months had he not gotten off track with diet and medication... but that coupled with growing cancer (which seemed to be rapidly effecting his breathing within the last week) urged me to make a call.

The Veterinarian and I discussed the situation, and after an examination, she agreed whole heatedly with the decision.  (She had, just yesterday, made the same difficult choice for her own family pet dog of 17 years.)

In his last day
Rah enjoyed yummy wet food, free of the yucky healthy additives to which he'd been subject for the past two years.  He enjoyed a two hour sun beam with his sister.  He enjoyed hours of quality cuddling with his mommy and his human brother.  In his last minutes he was indulged with a  heaping spoonful of his favorite food in the whole world... peanut butter.

I wanted him to be able to leave with dignity and grace.  I am happy that in his last few days (although obviously uncomfortable) he was perky and enjoying his family and life.

I spent two hours alone with him afterwards, (much thanks to Lea for making that possible) and was able to grieve with him while dressing him in a green silk scarf in homage to his great Egyptian ancestors.

He will be sent on his way with the 'eye of horus' pendant I've worn for the last 19 years round his neck, a bag of cat nip, toys, clippings of the hair of loved ones, food, and of course PEANUT BUTTER.



  

Today
Jerry and I attended a spctatros pow wow ate the rotunda in west philly



with a friend



we danced



and made another new friend



it was a heart lightening day.

One can be rawther sure they have a serious issue
when one finds one'self BAWLING at the lyrics
in a song
in 'WHINNIE THE POOH"S grand adventure'.

le sigh

Wherever You Are

(Music by Michael Abbott, Lyrics by Sarah Weeks)

Come out, moon
Come out, wishing star
Come out, come out
Wherever you are

I'm out here in the dark
All alone and wide awake
Come and find me

I'm empty and I'm cold
And my heart's about to break
Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me
'Cause without you I'm totally lost

I've hung a wish on ev'ry star
It hasn't done much good so far
I can only dream of you
Wherever you are

I'll hear you laugh
I'll see you smile
I'll be with you
Just for a while

But when the morning comes
And the sun begins to rise
I will lose you
Because it's just a dream
When I open up my eyes
I will lose you

I used to believe in forever
But forever's too good to be true

I've hung a wish on ev'ry star
It hasn't done much good so far
I don't know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you
And wonder if you're dreaming too
Wherever you are
Wherever you are

Save and print for yourself
but
PLEASE do NOT cross post, as
once the dust settles
I would LIKE to get this work published.

Its what I consider to be my first TRULY publishable verse.

If you pass it on to a friend...
DO include this pre-reamble

*****************

Maybe my son
by Martine




Every day I grow tired
And wish to take a break
And step away from a relentless day
Of boundless energy and the discovery of play…
I must remind myself that
Maybe my son will be the one.

Every time my child asks a question
That is hard to answer
And I think to myself
"The answer can wait another day…
This is too complicated to explain,
And he couldn't possibly comprehend
The answer anyway…"
I must remember that
Maybe my son will be the one.

Every time my child dares
To think outside the box
And starts to do something
That makes me cover my eyes in anticipation…
I must hold steady and know that
Maybe my son will be the one.

Every time my son is frustrated
And releases the fury of
A tiny volcano
From deep within…
I will focus and feel that
Maybe my son will be the one.

Every time I am hastily told
That I will spoil my child
Because I choose to make the world stop
While I respond to the need of my son…
I will draw breath because
Maybe my son will be the one.


When they say
That I am wrong
Because I am trying to
Make my son perfect
I will say NO
I am trying to ALLOW my son
To reach for and UNDERSTAND
the stars…
because
Maybe my son will be the one.

Maybe my son will be the one
Who moves
Or answers
Or cures
Or creates
Or inspires…

And to that end
I owe him my respect
And to all humankind
The unyielding effort
To never dull
The unyielding potential
Of my son…

Maybe my son will think
The thought
That makes
It all
Make sense.

Or
Maybe the thought
Will come from his child.

The child he makes
with yours…

If anyone is interested in garb
Im going to chop the prices listed in half.
Gotta make the money to make the move.





This is my etsy listing at current.

Chopped prices will not include shipping.

Items purcahased by the 5th will be shipped by the 6th.

Items purchased after may wait untill the 11th for shipping due to dental surgery.

okay, so ill toss this one out on the wind

my dear intrepid loyal readers

youve noted my odd medical symptoms of late

im tired of them.

i know the whole package in intertwined.

so ill explore it this way.

almost EVERYTHING painfull is on my left side.

Left rear neck pain
Headache behind left eye
left shoulder weakness
left siatic pain
left knee pain

both hands numb pinky and ring
and pin between poin and thub

anything spring to mind
physical or spiritual.

Ive been contemplating the crossed meridian
right brained activity out of whak
aspect.

cant afford acupressure/puncture
gonna try to visit chirppractor in south philly while there.