bombarded

I Realized i am being besieged by the nether world with many many MANY many messages of temperance.
Most of them QUITE conflicting... for example:
reminding me that I am a superior person in several ways... (though I am WELL aware of many many MANY many shortcomings)
also reminding me that when others (namely one other) acted superior to me it made me MISERABLE.
what i take from this is a reminder to evoke temperance.
BUT BOY HOWDY the messages are chewy and tiring.

Things that make me go "duh".

How Raven Stole Crow's Potlatch

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in the Pacific Northwest, there lived a magical bird named Raven. Raven was a shape shifter. He could turn himself into a man and then back again into a bird simply by pulling his beak over his head, like a mask. Raven practiced and practiced until he could quickly turn himself into any animal. Using his special power of shape shifting, Raven could fool other animals into thinking he was, well, just about anybody.

The above ganked from  http://nativeamericans.mrdonn.org/stories/raven.html
Go there to finish the story


So I read this last night.
Three sentences in... it hits me like a friggin Mac Truck...
DOH!

BACK STORY
Now, SOME of you know I carried the 3 quintessential goth chick nick names in college.  "Vamp" "Gypsy Lady" and "Raven".  I did NOT self assign Vamp or Gypsy.  Those were assigned to me by college chums and teachers.... in the late 80s/ early 90s.   RAVEN, however, I gave to myself, in a manner of speaking,  In 1986 or so.  (I could give you the EXACT date this alter ego was born if I currently had access to my sketch books.. )  She was an externalized 'aspect' self portrait character.  Here she is:


click here for larger

ANYWHO... I digress

HOW  IS  IT  POSSIBLE  I  MANAGED  to carry  RAVEN's medicine
for 22 years, becoming who i am, knowing full well Ive read the defining medicine of Raven probably a hundred times, WITHOUT MAKING THE CONSCIOUS CONNECTION ?!!??    Only me.  Bombarded lil me.

YEESH.